


There Is No Taking It Back

by Dana



Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Ficlet, set somewhere in the vagueness of 2x08 when Sam you know whats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 21:17:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14839334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dana/pseuds/Dana
Summary: One day when he was lost in his own head, she slipped out of his flat, slipped out of his life.





	There Is No Taking It Back

**Author's Note:**

> Just another thing I wrote when I was in one of my moods.

One day when he was lost in his own head, she slipped out of his flat, slipped out of his life. The part of Sam that swam and sank in 1973, the part of him that never came back, hadn't expected anything less: Maya broke up with him a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

The days they'd been living were as real to him as the ones he'd dreamed into being, and Maya had likewise seemed _real_. She let him touch her, felt solid and warm when he kissed her. Was endlessly patient as he fumbled through every little thing, like if they tried to make love. That was what made him doubt her, what made her seem so impossibly unreal – like an illusion of herself, something else he had willed into being – because no matter what he didn't say, or didn't do, she only ever looked at him with kindness, or pity. If she was real, it should have upset her. It sure as hell should have upset Sam.

Only, when she left and Sam didn't at first notice, he knew he should have felt something, anything at all. Anger, because she could have said something. Sorrow, because he should have seen it coming. Relief, because he was enough of a burden already.

He paces about the flat like an animal that's been caged, wipes down a worktop that had already been clean. Wonders what he'll cook himself for dinner, if he'll even want to eat. Doesn't have to look at the calender to see the date that's circled, or the one after that. Another appointment, they never end. Another specialist, someone else who'll say he's doing so good.

He didn't know her anymore, hardly knew himself. No wonder she'd left him, left him again.


End file.
